'Idiot' Xander Schauffele cards quadruple bogey at PGA Tour's Zozo Championship
Schauffele's three-over 73 left him 10 strokes behind the first-round leader, American Taylor Moore, who had an eagle on the 18th on his way to a 63.
The 2024 US PGA and British Open champion Schauffele found that his wayward tee shot on the par-four ninth at Narashino Country Club had wedged itself among tree roots.
He attempted twice to hit the ball but failed to dislodge it and looked set to take a third swipe at it before shaking his head, laughing and opting to take a penalty drop for an unplayable lie.
"I wanted to take a photo of it almost, how bad it was," said the American.
"For me to think I can do anything definitely got me in a hole there," he said.
"I should have just taken an unplayable, but I was an idiot and tried to hit it. Then I was stubborn and tried to hit it again, then finally took an unplayable."
The eight was the only blemish on an otherwise uneventful three-over card which had one birdie and 16 pars.
"Overall it was pretty low stress for most of the day," he said after finishing in a tie for 70th.
"Like 85% of the day was not very stressful."
Schauffele was not the only big name to struggle on a tough day in Chiba, near Tokyo.
Defending champion Collin Morikawa opened with a birdie three, but a bogey on the fourth hole and a double bogey two holes later on the par-five sixth set him back before he recovered with three more birdies for a one-under par 69.
"I just kind of went through a little lull, missed a couple numbers, started missing some fairways," said Morikawa.
"Out here if you miss the fairways, it just plays a little bit tougher and you just can't get close to the pins."
Japan's Olympic bronze medallist and home crowd favourite Hideki Matsuyama carded five bogeys and four birdies in a topsy-turvy one-over 71.
Moore's 63 gave him the solo lead, one stroke ahead of Americans Max Greyserman and Eric Cole and Colombia's Nico Echavarria who all carded 64.